Eleesha.com

Eleesha's Personal Story (click here for her brief bio)

The Early Years

I have briefly decided to give you some background to my life so far and share the sequence of events that led me from where I was, to becoming an Inspirational Affirmations Author. Since the age of three, it slowly began to dawn on me that I could see "people" that no one else could see lurking outside at the back of our home.

Fortunately, my mother realized I was too terrified to be lying or making it up and she did her best to console me whenever I saw "them". Sometimes, when she could take no more, she would march me outside to show her exactly where "they" were. I would point straight at "them", and she would look in their direction and yell at "them" to "go away." Unknown to her, "they" found all this to be very amusing and I heard and saw their reactions.

Seeing the Unseen

Although, "they" were very visible to me, from our back windows, my mother realized that I was safe indoors because "they" never followed me inside. With very few options left, she decided that the best solution was for me to remain indoors with all the curtains drawn. It was a drastic decision, which affected not only me, but the whole family. She preferred to trade peace and quiet for screams. This was the way we all lived for quite some time.

Fearful and isolated, I never, ventured outside alone without an adult and when I did, I always covered my eyes. In fact, this was how I saw the outside world , through the little gaps between my fingers. Occasionally, my sister and brother would try to encourage me to come outside to play in the backyard. Although, I longed to join them in the enticing wide open space, every attempt resulted in me seeing "the great men" (as I called them at the time). They would be there, smiling, staring and beckoning for me to come over and join them. Had they been a little more pleasing to look at, I may have been tempted to take them up on their offer, but I always lost my nerve and would promptly run back indoors for sanctuary, vowing to never go outside again.

Just as the situation had become untenable, my father took a promotion and that meant moving home. It was a complete relief to us all, when we were able to leave for our new home and my childhood terror finally came to an end.

A New Start

Life for the family returned to normal in our new home and I was able to play outside once more, as a carefree and happy child. Several years later, out of the blue, I started automatic writing. As the words flowed into my mind I felt compelled to write them down. Initially, it was all on scraps of paper, but I eventually hijacked one of my father's notepads and it progressed from there. I did not know why or how it started and I didn't even know (at the time) that it was called 'automatic writing'. I just came to accept it as being something that I did in the quiet of my own room. Most of what I wrote down made very little sense to me, and I rarely re-read what I had written. This was something I later came to regret after a serious incident, that would expose my 'automatic writing' secret to all my immediate family.

A Missed Warning

One morning, my father headed out early on a business trip and was involved in a serious car accident. As soon as we learned of his accident, we visited him in hospital. When we returned, later that evening, my brother found my notepad, filled with pages of my automatic writing. He demanded to know who had written all this. I owned up to it, but it was what he read out, that came as a shock to us all. What I had written down, the night before, was all about a car accident and it was written in great detail and accurate enough to draw parallels between, what I had written and what had just happened to my father. I can only assume, that I had been given this information as a warning. I should have read it and warned my father about it, but I never did.

All Is Uncovered

I spoke more candidly to my family that evening, about my automatic writing. My sister said she had heard of it before and explained to me what it was. They all agreed that whatever it was, writing about the accident had been very uncanny. I was relieved that it was all out in the open, but I could not get the seriousness of it all out of my mind. That night, I remember feeling extremely guilty. I had written about an event before it happened - if so - had I made it happen? Worst still, I had not even read it, to warn my father. Whether he would have believed or listened to me, I will never know but the guilt I felt was very real.

Misguided Blame And Guilt

My father recovered well (or so we thought) until I accompanied him into town to visit the local Bank. As we waited to cross the street, he took my hand and held it tightly, he looked down, his eyes were glazed and filled with sadness. He told me, in no uncertain terms, that he did "not want to live anymore." As we headed towards the Bank, my mind was reeling from the shock, by the time we returned home, I was overcome with even more misguided self guilt. My writing seemed to be the cause of all these awful events, I felt it was time to just put a stop to it. That is exactly what I did and as time passed, all these childhood memories slowly began to fade away with time.

Leaving The Past Behind

I eventually grew up and settled into a normal life, got married and had my three children. After the birth of my second son, I was dealt a severe blow when he passed away after just six weeks. It was an extremely difficult time for me and to ease my pain and try to cope with his loss, I started keeping a diary (journal). I found it to be very therapeutic and it had a healing effect on an emotional level as well. Yet, despite all my grief, I never allowed myself to engage in any automatic writing.

Tragedy Strikes Twice

Several years passed then, just a few months ago, tragedy struck for the second and third time in my life. My mother who was ill, suddenly passed away and then only five months later, my father died too. Nothing can prepare you in life for the loss of a loved one, but to lose both my parents so suddenly, shattered my world and the foundations of my life were rocked to the core.

A New Beginning

A few days after my father passed, I decided to buy a new notebook (journal), I just felt that if I ever had a dream about my parents, I would be able to write it down. I did not have to wait too long because 10 days after my father passed I had a very vivid dream about him. It answered a lot of questions for me, and when I awoke the next morning, I wrote it all out and later shared it with my whole family. I thought no more about it and when I eventually returned home from his funeral, I was close to exhaustion both physically and mentally.

Although, my family were very supportive throughout this period, I felt so alone. My husband was working overseas and although I was trying to come to terms with this double tragedy, I felt I was sinking. One day, whilst I was on the phone to my husband, he suggested I read "The Secret". I had never heard of it, and was a little hesitant to take him up on his suggestion.

When my daughter's birthday came around in May 2007, I decided to treat myself to the audio version, whilst ordering her present. When it arrived, I listened to it intently, by CD 3 something came to mind. Here I was, trying to come to terms with the loss of both my parents and realizing just how fast life was passing me by. I thought deeply about my own life and felt compelled to ask a Universal question of my own. "What was the greatest gift I could give of myself to Humanity?" Well the very next day - I had my answer.

Re-Discovering My Gift

Although it has taken me the length of my story to share this with you, I woke up the next morning, my mind swirling with inspirational quotes, words of inspiration and affirmations (that appeared to almost come out of nowhere). I had re-disovered my gift, I gave silent thanks to all those unseen and rarely ever heard that were sharing their wisdom and contributing to these words of inspiration. There was one inspiration in particular, that kept being repeated to me, it was my first and I heard it loud and clear. It was so vivid I felt compelled to write it down right away. It was almost as if - if I did not write it down, it would not stop being repeated to me. It was....

After I wrote "Let me..", more deep and meaningful quotes, words of inspiration and affirmations followed, one after another. I thought to myself, I will just keep writing them down as they are given to me and I have continued to do so. To this day. I have already amassed over 2, 375 deep and meaningful quotes of inspiration, affirmation, motivation and empowerment and the number keeps growing day by day.

The Decision To Share My Work

Initially, I thought I would just keep them in my notebook (journal) so that I could read them whenever I wanted, just to keep myself inspired. Then it dawned on me that - these words were not just meant for me - but were something I should be sharing, with everyone. I had failed to share what I had written as a child, and I had paid dearly for it with my own self-guilt that had lasted decades. Now, I was not about to make the same mistake twice, because I realized that this was "The greatest gift I could give of myself to Humanity." and ultimately, my question had now been answered.

Since that day, everything became crystal clear. What I wanted to do, what direction I wanted to take and the joy and immense pleasure I have felt by doing it. Allowing my "gift" to come through again and to continue transforming lives by "Sharing Personal Words of Inspiration with the World."

The Start Of A New Journey for me & now for you

So, why not join me? Let my new journey in life, become Your new journey in life. I am honored to be sharing the same inspirational quotes, affirmations, and words of inspiration that have helped transform my life, with you. I know that by passing on these words of inspiration you will begin to transform your life in just the same way. Let Eleesha's inspirational quotes, inspiration and affirmations transform your life today. These words are for all !

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